Apr 15, 2010

Clifton

My son was born 27 years ago today.  He was a change and a blessing in my life.  I lost my son on August 25th, 2006.  He had a seizure sometime in the night.  No words can describe how much I miss him.  A giant piece of my heart was ripped out that day.  I realize now how I've changed.  My attention span for things is practically gone.  Laughing and joking is almost like a chore.  The few things I do, like sewing or making things for my Etsy shop, I make myself do those things.  I know now that I was in shock after this happened.  I wasn't hysterical or screaming, probably like I should have been.  I guess that made everybody think I was OK, I don't know.  Sitting here, by myself, day after day, I cried, sometimes uncontrollably, like I didn't think I was going to be able to stop.  I've lived in Euless over 30 years and everywhere I went reminded me of Clifton or my mom or my dad. There are still good days and bad days.  Baseball season always makes me cry, Clifton loved it so.  I'm on my way to the cemetery with flowers I put together yesterday.  Of course there's a chance of rain, but the sun is out now.

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